Communicating with Your Sweetie in a Technological World

With so many options in communication technology today, there are now many creative and fun ways to keep in touch with your sweetie. The key is to be sure to use these in a positive relationship-building way rather than in a way that makes your honey feel like a chore or another business contact.

We are so busy these days that often, especially, in two-income families one is coming while the other is going. Regularly communicating is crucial to maintaining a happy and fulfilled relationship, but the bills have to be paid, too. So, here are a few tips to keep in mind when using technology to keep in touch:

1. Use terms of endearment that you would normally use in conversation. This will signal to your sweetie that you are thinking of them the way you do when you are together, rather than as the dry cleaning pick-up person, grocery-store runner, or kids’ babysitter.

2. Complete your thoughts with each other the way you would if you were together. Do not allow other distractions- like call waiting on your cell phone- to interrupt and force you to abruptly end your conversation. Your boss, friend, or Mom can wait or leave a message. This is your relationship we are talking about and you need to treat it as though it is important to you. Your partner needs to know and feel that he or she is not your last priority, but your first.

3. Acknowledge every new communication string that you receive as soon as possible. If you get an email about plans for the weekend, it takes less than 30 seconds to shoot back an answer like, “Sounds like fun! You know how I love Thai food– remember our honeymoon? Tell Sue & John we’ll meet them at 7. Love you!!!”

4. Take a moment to share your day’s highs and lows. Have a Blackberry? Use it for a quick email blast while you wait for the train. Write a text message with a funny joke you heard that you knew s/he would like. IM with a website link you just came across for your next vacation.

5. If your honey has a blog, read it and comment on it regularly. If you don’t want your comment to be seen by the world, you can send a private email about your thoughts. You could also create a blog for yourselves. You’ll likely not get much traffic at all and can use it to keep in touch where ever there is Internet access.

6. Create a simple code. In my husband’s job as a personal trainer, he is often in the middle of spotting someone when I happen to call. We’ve devised a code where if I don’t need to talk to him right away, I’ll just leave a message if he doesn’t pick up. If what I have to say can’t wait, I call right back. That second call from me tells him, “Honey, it’s me. I need to talk to you right this minute.” Oh– and set up your cell phone to have a special ring tone reserved for your honey. We had fun picking out just the right ring for each other on our phones. That way we know it’s the other without ever looking at the caller ID.

Above all, find a way to make time for each other in person — even if it’s just on the weekends, or whenever your schedules allow. You may have to plan it on purpose rather than letting fate be your planner. Face time during prime energy hours for you both is important in a relationship, not just sleeping next to each other or two ships passing in the hall. Technology can be your friend and being careful how you use it can keep your relationship strong enough to get through times where you can’t be together in person as often as you’d like.